As Jake approached Bill and his groupies, Bill reached out and squeezed his shoulders, familiarly. "Man, it's great to see you here! This is Wendy, Carole, DeeDee, and Christine. Girls, this is THE Jake DiAngelis, one of the biggest BMOCs this campus has ever known… that is, who wasn't a letter-man, " he added quickly, smiling at his own none-too-subtle reference to Jake’s aborted football career at the U.
Soundtrack: Time Has Come Today---The Chambers Brothers
Bill's comic bit prompted a smattering of unctuous laughter from the cluster of girls surrounding him, followed by a chorus of breathy greetings for Jake, which seemed to blend into one continuous pick-up line: "Hi, Jake! Hi! Wow, Jake DiAngelis...in the flesh! You only wish!"
Jake stifled a grimace at Bill's lame joke and the girls’ even lamer come-ons. Still, he did casually check out the chicks. They were honeys, he had to admit it; that is if you liked the type — each one younger, blonder, and self-consciously sexier than the previous one. Not really his taste...except maybe the one Bill had introduced as Christine, a tall, dirty-blonde with lightly bronzed skin, a well-proportioned body, and a face that was model-beautiful, yet somehow intelligent. And, sure enough, there was Bill, beaming at her, obviously with plans to explore that face and body more carefully later this evening.
Now Bill, a pretentious wine-filled ceramic goblet in hand, raised his arm in a toast. "Say, everybody," he intoned, but was totally drowned out by the stereo blasting out one of the U-crowd’s favorite psychedelic dance tunes.
“Listen up everybody!” Bill shouted, trying to be heard over the din. “Folks! Folks! Can I have your attention?”
No go. Most of the dancing students were too busy calling out the song's refrain at all the right moments.
Time!
Obviously exasperated, Bill shifted to a half-serious, half self-deprecatory professorial tone. “Boys and girls, please quiet down and can someone please turn down the music?” He paused and the noise subsided somewhat, although some of the “higher” partiers were still shouting out to the refrain of the now-slightly-quieter music.
Time!
Getting students’ attention in the classroom was clearly easier for Bill than getting their attention when they were stoned at a party. He tried one more time, this time reasoning with them. ”Hey, don’t worry, the dancing will continue in a moment; but first I just want to say a few words about our guest of honor.”
Once again Bill raised his goblet and called for attention. “Folks! Listen up now! I want to propose a toast to Jake!"
Jake held his breath, dreading the BS to come.
Bill began, "To Jake DiAngelis, the most talented artist we've ever had at the U!"
Bill paused meaningfully before continuing, his pause punctuated by a shout from Jake's buddy, Stephen. "To Jake! Keep on keepin' on, man!"
Now that was a toast Jake could dig. Paper cups, glasses, and beer bottles were raised and "clinked" together throughout the room, amid a cacophony of hoots, hollers, and other incomprehensible expressions of celebration from dozens of voices.
But Bill was just warming up. "Wait, everyone! There's more! I hope most of you got to see Jake's show at the Gallery last week. It was outtasight. Powerful. Terrifying. Real. I mean really real."
Now, Bill turned to Jake, giving him one of his big meaningful stares, "Jake, your vision of the world today is almost more than a person can bear.”
Jake had listened to this particular rap from Bill too many times to even hear the words. "Just get it over with, man," he thought. "Just finish up fast. I can't stand here too long listening to this bullshit."
As Bill continued his eulogy to Jake's vision and talent, Jake spaced out completely. Instead of listening to Bill, Jake stared at the floor and tuned into the music still playing in the background.
But, the psychedelic sound effects of the music and the fantastical scenes they conjured unsettled him, so he looked back up, and, as he did so, he made eye contact with one of the young beauties standing by him. “Shit!” he thought. “Every one of these chicks is just raring to jump into the sack with me; all they need is for me to give them some signal.” He dropped his eyes again quickly to avoid inadvertently doing so.
Jake was startled out of his reverie by Bill, who was now standing directly before him, one hand holding each of his shoulders, paternally. Bill was beginning the segué into his predictably avuncular send off.
"Jake, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. I know you're going to make the most of it, but I hope you'll take a bit of advice from a veteran of the wars with the world." Bill chuckled at his little joke. Jake swallowed hard to keep from laughing, not at the pathetic joke, but at Bill and his clichés.
"Jake, I've watched you over the past six years. I've watched you stumble... but, hey, everyone stumbles, even you. I've watched you grow... mentally and…uh, physically." Bill turned his head slightly toward a couple of the chicks standing next to him, dropped his voice several decibels, and added, for their hearing only, "Quite a specimen, isn't he, girls?"
The girls so addressed nodded their lovely heads vigorously in assent. One of them — was it DeeDee or Wendy?— punctuated her nod by licking her lips suggestively. Oh God, Jake thought, taking in her too-cute platinum blonde hair, extraordinarily short skirt, and the skin-tight tie-dyed T-shirt she wore to accentuate her birth control pill-enlarged breasts and their stiffening nipples. Was this some kind of set up? Had Bill decided that this chick was going to add Jake to the notch in her “unchastity” belt? Or was DeeDee or Wendy or whatever-the-fuck her name was just improvising on her own? Whichever, Jake just wasn't interested. A couple of these chicks looked to be under eighteen, maybe even high school townies. He found the whole thing nauseating.
But, Bill was continuing, "As I was saying, I've seen you grow and I've seen your talent blossom, not without tremendous effort on your part, to be sure. And it's just that I want to talk to you about. Jake, you need to lighten up. You take everything too seriously: the world, life, yourself. Too seriously. Man, you gotta’ learn that you just can't push the river. You gotta’ let it come to you. Jake, man, you got a long life ahead of you. All things will come... in their time. Let them come, man. You don't need to be reaching out and seizing them all the time. That's it, man. That's my advice to you for the next part of your life. And, like man, why not start tonight. Relax. You look like you're fixing to rush off somewhere right now. Why not just rest here awhile? Talk to people... your old friends and maybe make some new ones."
Bill grinned lasciviously, nodding in the general direction of his lovely acolytes. "Whadya’ say, Jake?"
Jake didn't know what to say. He wanted to say, "Just cut the crap, you pompous fool. And while you're at it, why don't you get some control over your raging libido and send these girls back to the freshman dorm where they belong?" But, he didn't say that. He didn't say anything. He was too bummed out, not just by Bill's clichés, but also by the words of praise he now heard reverberating throughout the room.
Links
Chambers Brothers
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New Year's Eve 1968: Jake, Scene 3 "Idiot-Savant Artist-Athlete"
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New Year's Eve 1968: Jake, Scene 1 "1969 Began with a Kiss"
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