"Oh, Annie! Sorry. The music just kind of took me off... uh.. you know, to another place, another time, sort of..."
"Sure, Joanie. I know how it is. Certain music does that for me, too. You know, songs that came out when I was in high school. You know, like, uhm... things that Joan Baez sung." Annie tried singing one, but was hopelessly off-key. Both girls broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"Hey, I've got one of her albums right here," Joanie said.
Soundtrack: It Ain't Me, Babe ----Joan Baez
Both girls were silent as they listened to the sweet voice of Joan Baez singing a bitter love-song, written by Bob Dylan. Now that was irony for you!
Annie's smiled. ”Yeah, songs like that, they just take me back to that time. They just seem so innocent and.… and that's sort of the last time I felt innocent."
Then she began to giggle at her own comment, the olive-colored skin at the corner of her eyes wrinkling in amusement. "Well, I don't mean totally innocent, or anything; I just mean that the world seemed like a simpler place and relationships, too. You know?"
Joanie smiled softly, now, too. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean... at least about the world. But, relationships? I don't know. They’ve always seemed pretty complicated to me."
"Well, then, I guess you were a lot wiser than I was in high school. I mean, to me, relationships were simple: were you gonna’ sleep with the guy or not?" Annie replied, her grin a little more subdued now.
Annie's smiled. ”Yeah, songs like that, they just take me back to that time. They just seem so innocent and.… and that's sort of the last time I felt innocent."
Then she began to giggle at her own comment, the olive-colored skin at the corner of her eyes wrinkling in amusement. "Well, I don't mean totally innocent, or anything; I just mean that the world seemed like a simpler place and relationships, too. You know?"
Joanie smiled softly, now, too. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean... at least about the world. But, relationships? I don't know. They’ve always seemed pretty complicated to me."
"Well, then, I guess you were a lot wiser than I was in high school. I mean, to me, relationships were simple: were you gonna’ sleep with the guy or not?" Annie replied, her grin a little more subdued now.
Joanie's tentative smile vanished now. "Yeah. I guess so."
No, it hadn’t been that simple for Joanie, not at all. Suddenly her mind was flooded, as it often was, with unpleasant recollections of her relationships with guys in high school. One occasion stood out, in particular, etched permanently, it seemed, in Joanie’s psyche. She thought of it often… practically every time a guy talked to her… and it repeated itself frequently in her dreams. It had happened her sophomore year. She’d gone to the Junior Prom with Ralph Firestone, the best-looking Jewish boy in the school. Then, on the way to an after-prom party, he pulled the car over in a secluded spot. They kissed a bit, but Ralph's mind seemed elsewhere.
"Say, Joanie," he said. "You wanna’ do something that'll feel really cool and there's no risk."
Joanie knew what Ralph meant by risk---pregnancy--- but she certainly had no intention of sleeping with him, anyway. So, what was he talking about? She had to admit she was curious, albeit apprehensive. "Well, I guess so. What is it?" she said.
"Here. I'll show you." Ralph had by now unzipped his fly and pulled out his penis. It was stiff and a lot bigger than the penises she'd seen before: her little brother's and, long ago, her father's flaccid penis when he showered. But what was he intending to do with it that wouldn't involve risk? Joanie soon found out. Ralph held the back of Joanie's neck, not violently, but firmly, and pushed it downward toward his now-dancing penis.
"Kiss it," he said. Joanie was appalled. Was this really safe? Were penises clean enough to kiss?
"Go on. It won't hurt you. You'll see. You'll like it. It's the coolest thing."
So she did. She kissed it. It was pretty weird. It was kinda’ like kissing a hot dog. But then Ralph said, "Now put it in your mouth and sorta’ suck on it."
This idea totally revolted Joanie. She wasn't going to do that. "C'mon Joanie! It's the cool thing. Everybody does it! It's totally safe. Believe me. Nothing's going to happen. You'll love it."
So she closed her eyes and opened her mouth ever so slightly. Ralph pushed his penis into the small opening she’d allowed, and holding Joanie's head in place, he began thrusting in and out, each time going in deeper, gagging her as his penis hit up against the back of her throat. She tried to pull away, but he had a firm hold on her neck. It felt to Joanie as if Ralph's penis was growing larger with every thrust, soon becoming far too big for her mouth. She thought she was going to vomit every time it touched her throat. She struggled, but Ralph was oblivious. Suddenly, she heard him moan in anguish and at the same time her mouth filled with a sticky, salty-sweet tasting substance. Ralph pulled away from her and sank back in his car seat, his slimy, shrinking penis still hanging out of his fly.
"Wow! Wasn't that something!" he exclaimed. "You're the greatest! What a blow job! You're the greatest." He had a big grin on his face. Joanie was in shock. She hardly understood what had happened to her. Her mouth and lips and chin felt all sticky. She swallowed a large gob of the stuff in her mouth and instantly began to retch. She opened the car door and vomited on the ground. She got out of the car and began to run away from the scene of her humiliation.
"Joanie! stop! Where you going? You OK?" Ralph sounded genuinely concerned. By now Joanie was crying and sobbing. Ralph caught up with her, took her in his arms, and said, "Don't cry, sweetheart. You were the greatest!"
That had been the beginning of her career as a high school blow-job artist. Ralph had taught her to do tricks with her tongue and her teeth that drove him wild and she'd learned on her own when to yank his cock out of her mouth and finish the job with her hands. No more cum in her mouth, thank you. Then, when Ralph left for a summer job, it seemed that word of her skills and her willingness "somehow" had spread among the Jewish guys in town. Over that summer and the following couple of years of high school, Joanie found herself giving blow-jobs to a half dozen boys she dated. The guys loved it and it did keep them out of her pants. In this way, she'd remained a technical virgin until college, until Jake.
Now that was over, all of that. She'd never kiss or suck another man's cock ever again. She knew that clearly.
"Joanie... Joanie...you there?" It was Annie, once again breaking through Joanie's reverie.
Joanie looked at her friend and considered telling her about Ralph and all those blow jobs and her new decision to end that aspect of her life. No, she was too confused about that period of her life to reveal it to anyone… at least for now. So, she changed the subject to a safer one. "You know, you're the first guest I've had up here. I've been so busy with theater and political stuff that I actually spend very little time here. It seems like by the time I get home, I just fall into bed and next thing you know, it's morning and I'm running to make it to class."
"Not like sophomore year in the dorm, huh?" Annie asked, resuming her seated Yoga pose on the floor, just in front of Joanie. "Remember how we'd all stay up 'til practically morning, talking and shit and then sleep through our classes? Boy, to be sophomores and carefree again! I'd sure dig it! This serious student stuff gets me down."
"Oh, I don't know," Joanie replied, staring at the floor, pensively. "I prefer this year. I feel like I'm doing some worthwhile things. I kinda' think my first two years here were a waste. I mean, I was just floundering, doing what other people wanted me to do, not what I wanted to do... not that I knew what I wanted or anything, but... well, I don't know. I guess it just seemed to me like college was a continuation of high school, sort of thirteenth grade, except without my parents to bug me and make sure I wasn't doing anything too bad. That's why I took off last year and worked, and it’s also the main reason I decided to take this apartment...alone. "
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